My Journey to Lost Island July 21, 2008
Posted by Ted in : Lost, Satire, Sci-Fi , trackback
It was summer of 2008. The Lost season 4 finale had come and gone, and after four months of blogging about television, I still had not written a post about my favorite show. The problem in writing about Lost, of course, is in the complexity of its plot. People who watch the show on a regular basis have a hard enough time understanding it, so how do you explain it to those who don’t watch it at all? No easy task, considering the many unexplained developments throughout the history of the series.
In order to answer the many burning questions about Lost island, I decided I would have to go there myself. Using an old shortwave radio, I was able to contact Penny Widmore, who was setting off on an expedition to find the island, and made arrangements to travel aboard her ship. I was packing my bags when she called back and said her ship had left ahead of schedule, and that I would have to travel on her father’s freighter ship instead. Conditions aboard the freighter were less than hospitable. I was forced to do janitorial work, the food was terrible, and there were roaches everywhere. Half the crew was crazy, and the other half was mean as hell. When our ship got within sight of the island, some guy with big arms named Keamy told me they were sending me out on a scouting mission, then he threw me overboard. After about two hours of swimming I reached the shore and collapsed from fatigue and heatstroke. When I woke up I was lying in the shade under a tent. Kate was fanning me with a big leaf and Juliet gave me a coconut shell full of Hawaiian Punch to drink. “Don’t try to speak”, she said.
After recuperating peacefully for several weeks, Sayid decided I was a spy from the Others’ camp and imprisoned me in the hatch. After enduring several days of Sayid’s unpleasant interrogation techniques, which included beatings, sleep deprivation, and horrible karaoke singing, I was finally let out by Hurley, who told Sayid to lighten up. On my way back to the beach camp I encountered Desmond in the woods, who seemed to be communing with nature and having some kind of religious experience. I didn’t attempt to communicate with him. After re-joining the survivors on the beach, I became friends with Jin, who didn’t have much to say but taught me how to fish with a spear. I became fairly proficient at fishing and, by contributing to the food supply, was able to gain the trust of the community. Once I adjusted to the routine of island life, it seemed like a good time to start finding answers for all the confused Lost fans.
(to be continued)
How’s that mission going, shrimp?


Comments»
I can’t say I’ve watched this show, though I know tons of people love it. Not having TV makes this phenom pretty hard to get!
I’ve got four words for you: season 1 on DVD! You’ll be hooked for life.
I’ve watched Lost since season 1, too! Favorite character: Richard Alpert.
I’ve never actually watched this show, but am going to buy the DVD’s soon.
It is hard to blog about Lost. I try to make predictions… then embarrass myself by being wrong every time.