Oh. ER’s not on anymore? November 8, 2009
Posted by tvcrawlspace in : ER, Reviews , 2comments
Time of death? No one’s really sure. One of the custodial workers wandered into Exam 3 one night and noticed the aging series had no heartbeat and negligible brian activity. Bag ‘em and tag’em. Bomp bomp bomp, another one bites the dust. The final season of the show was nothing more than a formality. Just wrap up some loose ends, bring in some old stars to pay their respects, and let the show live out it’s final days with a little bit of dignity. Truth be told, the ER that I knew and loved ended around season six, and its condition continued to worsen until the end.
Here’s a brief summary of the show’s ongoing medical problems:
The Departure of Dr.Ross and Nurse Hathaway
This marked the beginning of the slow hemorraging of the show’s original stars. During the nineties I became a huge fan of the Dr. Ross character. I saw him as a role model - an enigmatic loner with a bad reputation and a heart of gold, bringing smiles to the faces of terminally ill children, and slightly embarrassed about his heroic tendencies. In my quest for Clooneyhood I even considered entering the medical profession, until I realized that with no medical trianing my opportunities would be limited to emptying bedpans and wheeling gurnies down the hall. I still resent Clooney and his supersized ego for ditching the show so early on. And no, his one episode return in the final season didn’t make it better. More like a slap in the face. Too little too late, George.
The Knifing of Med Student Lucy Knight for No Apparent Reason
The super-cutie and potential love interest for Dr. Carter had only been on the show for one season. One of the patients went psycho and left her bleeding body on the exam room floor. The viewers were left to twist in the breeze and wonder eternally about the reason for actress Kellie Martin’s impromtu departure. Drug or alcohol problems? Eating disorder? Personal vendetta by a producer? Or maybe she was too grossed out by the surgery scenes to stick around. We’ll never know. They should be required by law to explain these things.
Dr. Weaver Becomes a Lesbian
This was in spite of having had relationships with men in earlier seasons. Isn’t it supposed to be a myth that people suddenly “turn gay”? Apparently the writers didn’t get the memo. This was really the end of the show for me. I always had a thing for Dr. Weaver, crutch and all (played by the lusty Laura Innes). She made my reclusive nerd heart go thumpity thump. When she switched teams, it turned my world upside down.
Television’s Blandest Couple: Abby and Kovac
Sure, Kovac was a hit with his 007 looks and European accent, but let’s face it - the guy had the personality of a can opener. He seemed permanently stuck in serious mode, and the occasional sight of his unnatural smile was reminiscent of a jack-o-lantern. Put the Croatian cutout together with self-absorbed everywoman Abby Lockhart and you get a romance that, well, kind of sits there like the old stump in grandma’s back yard.
The Death of Romano
Arrogant, trash talking Dr. Romano was one of TV’s all time great villians. As satisfying as it was to see the belligerent MD pulvarized by a falling helicopter, the show lacked direction after his departure. For a while the ethically challanged buffoon Dr. Morris seemed destined to become Romano’s replacement as the resident bad guy, but instead was utilized as the badly needed comedy relief for the aging show.
Uninspiring New Characters
The ever revolving door of new characters failed to restore the show to its former greatness, and the newcomers where decidedly less heroic than their predecessors. Jing-Mei, Gallant, Neela, Ray, and nurse Samantha all seemed more concerned with their own dull lives than with their patients. An exception for me was Dr. Pratt, who recalled the gritty sincerity of Clooney’s character, although with more of an inner city than bedside manner.
The Episode with the Chimp
In which Dr. Ray Barnett brought an ailing chimp into the ER to be tended to by the staff. Dr. Abby Lockhart and the nurses became attached to the furry fellow and objected when Ray attempted to take the patient away again. Abby told him, “You’re the one who started all this monkey business!” That’s when I turned off my TV and rarely ventured back into County General again.
We can all be thankful that the suffering is finally over, and the show has gone to a better place (DVD). No need for tears, 15 is a ripe old age for a TV show. Rest in peace, ER. You will be missed, although not enough to bring you back again.
Olympic Tidbits 2008 August 23, 2008
Posted by tvcrawlspace in : ER, Sports , 6comments
-
Aaarrrghhh!!! I missed the opening ceremony.
- I was impressed and inspired by Romanian Constantina Tomescu’s performance in the women’s marathon. She got about half a mile ahead of her competitors early in the race and didn’t slow down until she reached the olympic stadium. You might think a 38 year old would collapse from exhaustion after winning a 26 mile race, but after Tomescu crossed the finish line, she jogged laps around the stadium with the Romanian flag, smiling and waving at the fans. She’s the oldest person to win an olympic marathon.
- Another favorite moment was seeing Jamaican runner Usain Bolt go up into the stands after he won the 100 meter race and hugging about ten people at one time, including his mother and cheering fans of various nationalities. Then later he hammed it up for the cameras, pretending to be a boxer and flexing his muscles.
- The Bird’s Nest Stadium looks pretty cool at night, with its colorful lighting and spacey postmodern design. Unfortunately, from the air it looks like a giant toilet seat.
- I couldn’t help but laugh after BOTH the US men’s and the US women’s relay running teams dropped the baton during the handoff, which disqualified them from the race. Apparently, they assumed during training that the handoff was not something to worry about. A perfect illustration of the saying once uttered by Dr. Romano on ER: “When you ASSUME you make an ASS out of U and ME.”
- I’ve discovered how to use bullet points in my posts! The excitement never ends here in the crawlspace.
- Water polo is the silliest sport of all time. It’s similar to hockey or soccer, but the players move much slower because the game takes place in a swimming pool. The teams paddle back and forth and try to make goals, and they wear silly caps that resemble baby bonnets.
On a more serious note:
I have developed a strange dislike of Michael Phelps that I can’t quit explain. Maybe it’s the media overkill. Maybe it’s his slight arrogance and his description of himself as the Michael Jordan of swimming. I know that sounds hypocritical after my praise of Usain Bolt earlier in this post. Bolt’s excessive showboating surely makes Phelps look humble by comparison. Do I expect better behavior from Phelps because he’s white? I’m not sure. Or maybe he reminds me of somebody from my past that I didn’t like. I may have to consult a psychologist to figure this one out. In spite of my feelings, I’m going to try to have some sympathy for Phelps. In addition to receiving nonstop coverage in the media, he is already making millions of dollars in product endorsement deals. All the sudden fame and fortune they’ve dumped on him won’t be easy to deal with at the age of 23. Whatever his personal quirks, Phelps clearly deserves credit for his eight gold medals. Congratulations, Mike.
on 
on 
on 
on