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Back to Our Roots Weekend

June 2009

We had a concert event titled "Back to Our Roots" at Uncle Steve's last weekend, two days, both Friday and Saturday. This was supposed to be a joyous celebration of traditional folk music. Unfortunately, the outcome didn't quite live up to the expectation. The only artists to perform were Kirby and Coney, Norm Fabian (more Las Vegas than folksy and only for fifteen minutes), and Dr. George Feldspar. Incredibly, Admiral Porkliver were not invited to perform, and were even told not to approach within one hundred yards of the building while the concert was in progress. So, they stayed in their bus, which technically is closer than one hundred yards, but nobody did anything about it.

I have been hoping that Kirby and Coney, an act similar to Simon and Garfunkel, might take up another hobby, but my wish has yet to be fulfilled. I must here also offer up my strongest censure and condemnation for those four or five middle-aged women (you know who you are) who show up regularly to see Kirby and Coney play, and actually applaud them and stare at them with moony eyes while they perform. You are doing a great disservice to Uncle Steve's and to the Bratwurst community by instilling false hopes into these men. Please, go home and watch television or something.

In other news, I've heard that The Rocking Dudes have for the time being decided to end their live shows at Uncle Steve's and have taken up organic home gardening, which apparently demands a lot of their time. You'll eventually be able to get their organic rutabagas at the Main Street Farmers Market, which takes place on the third Saturday of every month. Can't wait to buy those rocking rutabagas! Okay, I suppose that one was kind of lame. Actually, I don't like rutabagas very much. However, I think I would like a plate of rutabagas more than another live performance by The Rocking Dudes. I'm serious. I mean, you get tired of hearing the same old instrumental blues jams over and over again. I remember when one of those dudes got some kind of supposedly magical effects box for his guitar that was supposed to make him sound like Jimi Hendrix. I guess that was interesting for about five minutes before it got old. Of course, Bert will miss them very much. He always used to get up in front of them and dance after he'd been drinking for a couple of hours. Anyway, best of luck to you guys for a successful organic farming career. By the way, it's just the drummer and one of the guitarists that are doing the organic farming thing. I don't know about the other guitarist. I think he's still working at the local social security office. I mean, I saw him working there when I went in there two years ago. They sometimes had a bass player but most of the time he didn't show up. So, I don't know what to say about that guy. I think his name is Mark or something.

- Jacob Silverman

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"Won't you tell me where my country lies?" said the unifaun to his true love's eyes...